So I been a little pissy today, for no discernible reason, though I suspect it was just the attitude of some kids walking into first period, and the emptiness of the classroom for far too long before anyone showed. It probably also didn't help that it was hot and clammy, and th ekids were restless, eager to go outside. So I was testy all day, perhaps in part because my students are not passing as much as they should, and all due to lack of work.

My ambitions--my time horizon--have all contracted of late, just trying to over the next hurdle and back into a warm bed. I can't explain why this is. Of course, it might just be that I've always been this way, or that I've not grown out of the college conditioning. I was reminded of this as last night I was reunited with Bessie and Alric, which is rather rare for me as typically I do not have the opportunity to hang out with college friends these days. But they largely represent a different modo de ser. No puedo explicarlo ahora, temo. I guess I'm soon confronted with a summer, during which Joephet has declared he'll be gone to Guam, and I'll be done with my degree with no desire to teach. So the most obvious option is utter, uninterrupted idleness, though I think I would prefer a summer of working on Skaren Hargey's farm. In this direction, I tried again to jumpstart my comics last night on the trainride home to Joephet's, but I was blanking--I am too far removed from the anger and discontent--I am too invested in the system that is making my life difficult--my school--and so railing has too limited an application. I forget how much my art has been tied to anger, pain, and besiegedness. And that makes it either authentic or sentimental. I'd rather it just have been good.