So I've been feeling bad about my kendo of late, and I feel no real confusion over why it is that I fail--I stand by my analysis of yesterday. What troubles me more is how I failed but someone who started after me, and whom I regularly beat in keiko, passed. Now, it's not that that bothers me that much, but what bothers me is that that bothers me at all--that I'm still so tied up in my relative progress that I'm looking at how others do, and petty enough in being annoyed and judgmental of others' technique--it's all the wrong kind of competitive, and I'm off the real path, which is to do better than myself, which is something I've more or less lost sight of since the run up to my first shiai in February. So it's something I should rededicate myself to, which might be a little tricky given my new internship schedule. Or something. The key thing is to keep going.