So torpedo's away--it's been a hectic while

What with the bro-ham in town for break it was difficult to get very much, much to the neglected chagrin of Wifey, who at least was amply allowed-for, but the real casualty was my paper-writing--but at least after twenty-drafts the textbook-article has been mailed off, which involved a frantic run at the last minute to the disappointingly small post office at Queens Plaza amid priority mailing via internet postage and editing in the midst of classes which I found to be most disruptive and attacky today, while there was one group of students that had the gall to show up to class half an hour late, complete with evidence of their extra-campusal foray.

I'm exhausted. My kendo has suffered. Promotion can now be my real goal, other than this short term annoyance of a paper which is somehow still due on wednesday, but which has been shaping all right, although I've not put in as much effort and planning as last time, which seems so long ago. But the editorial process is fun--it's just a little hard to fully imagine what it would be like to take a full load again, and seriously.

So it's good to be back--my hand's been hurt and so typing this is still a pain for any right-pinky keys, whch is why we won't have any carriage-returns, though still too many hyphens, but for the past few keiko's I've been tentative and afraid to get it hit or hurt, making me realize and better appreciate what a good tai-atari is and is not. And of course I did get nailed right on the offending finger at least once today, but otherwise, its good to be back and to fell by ki fill the entire room. Or try.

So this is a scene--

At the new favorite takeout Korean place which is pricey but does some killer mandoo (pork, at least) and a japchae for which to die--

long table of sixes, i'm sitting there exhausted, spread-legged, binder atop stuffed shoulder bag waiting.

the beefy kwaiter with slicked back hair is talking to the thinner kwaiter who looks a little chinkier, and they are consulting about the tip on a check from that table of six... they consult and ask, and talk to the kcashier, and the beefy kwaiter decides to speak to the man

who is an older Anglo gentleman with a gaggle of five kwomen. he is asked about the tip, informed that 15% is customary, and that for a 60plus tip with only five bucks down, that puts us up to 8%, and was there something wrong, was there some way in which we offended or did not quite come up to your expectations, oh, no, you see this 35 some odd dollars is the change you got... so yes... thank you very much, and oh, yes, here is the bag which you happened to leave on your way out with your entourage, thanks, come again, thanks

So today's marathon

Disease computer coverage
Own class and lexicon-building
Article discussion and planning
Double class with writeups
Chess with kids
Forward curriculum planning
Downtown action research seminar
Weekly Math Ed class
now

And the summer work has come back to haunt, but in a good way...

So today was one of those days where the lesson goes so smoothly that you find yourself with nothing to possibly do but make snide comments and try to complicate matters, even though it's horribly routine matters for the most part.

I find myself one of those website conservatives, very disoriented by redesigns.

I really do need to refocus on kendo, though, though nights like last night make me realize how much more time I have when I don't do things like practice or classes--it's a real choice, but I'm at leat to the point where I go without thinking twice...

So it's odd to watch a bad movie through ELL eyes--they're a lot more silent--those who are more literate are fixated to the subtitles which they read ahead of time, while you're much more attentive to other details as the audio track is not your best friend. It's also odd to see the same bad movie over and over again--people talk so fast in English, and there's just so much glibness.

Thankfully, when my student who's a troublemaker pulled out the DVD he wanted to watch, I was relieved it wasn't some obscure ethnic porn (what do ethnic people consider ethnic porn?), but just the Incredibles. Whew.

So I've found a new favorite hobby--

grading student papers and writing snarky remarks on the subway drunk;
practicing ipponme kata using the real fake kata swords;
walking everywhere to save on subway fare;
complimenting kohai even though sadly they're crookeder than;
not studying for the GREs;
writing speeches for Rob Chin to deliver to Morgan on Tacos Mexico menus: for example "Look Morgan, I know my life hasn't exactly been a superstar's, but I have but one regret, and that's that that one time when I had you on my bed--my bed--I didn't take you like the animals we are. So call me back and give me another chance!";
catering to Wifey's every need.

So I'm just at the Graduate Center biding my time before calling Wifey even though I'm very tired, because I'd rather not interrupt him in the middle of America's Next Top Model which he so loves. Simply not in the mood for much today--and TransitChek still hasn't come through for me enough to not need to pay for my own ride, which is rather annoying, I'd say.

Just glad there's just one more day left in this week before I can just relax, and it's all the better that that last night is a kendo night, as somehow that's all I can think about typically these days. Today the kids took a test, which they bomobed, probably because yesterday was a holiday, but still--I feel a little bad, at least. I really need to get out of this rut and to start finishing off this paper, though--it's just been too long, and I have much less than a month left.

So there are many reasons--

The taikai was rather disappointing--but still worth it--I fought a sister dojo ikkyu to a draw which the judges awarded to him and then lost nihonme to someone else in teams--it was close, though, and gives me plenty else to think about.

Today I had to get up from Wifey's and go all the way home just to vote, which would have been fine--I felt so sorry for Freddie Ferrer that I gave him my vote rather than to Marty Koppel or even Seth Blum. But unfortunately, in my rush to get to school and carrying three shinai on my back, I dropped my MetroCard, an annual, down the tracks--and so it's been frustrating.

Today's workshop worked smoothly, mostly because it was hands off.

But the best part of the day, though not the part where I sweated more than I did today in the blistering computer lab, was my return to the dojo. Although I entered very head-tired and back-of-head-hurty, by the end, I was only body-tired, not back-of-the-eyes tired, and though my streak against Sensei in ippon-shobu has ended at four, I do so want to challenge him more often.

Of couse, some of the n00bs still need to learn teh difference between hiki-waza and hickey-waza, as my kids are still sceaming out, "Hu has a hickey!" A hickey that won't heal because of how the men rubs me so.

So my mind has mostly been on shiai of late, and it's been back and forth between moments of frustrated lack of real initiative and breakthrough moments against sempai. It's tricky--I think most of this is psychological--against opponents who seem easier, I tend to go too easy and surrender the initiative. Only against

So how to deal with defeat?

I had a Teachers' Group meeting so I couldn't make it to practice until about 830, and even that required a hard run from SoHo to TriBeCa fully loaded. Well, not with bogu, but with enough to leave me sopping. Not as exhausted as the poor kohai whom Sensei decided to shove into bogu without even an apprenticeship in do and tare, but still tired. So it was starnge to try and get right into mawari-geiko still not warmed-up enough. But the point is that I lost in shiaigeiko with kote to another mudansha who hadn't been around in a while.

And so now is the question: how do I deal with this loss after entering the match with such I'll-manage-and-control-this confidence? It's easy to chalk it up to my having missed the real practice. Or the offtiming of someone who hasn't been around, which is harder to read. But it's probably better not to look backward so much--to just strike more fully committed, and not to be tempted into thinking that I am good enough to win without throwing myself fully into the match. Or something. But no second-chances in shiai.

So Sunday practice was notable if only because it's the first time that Sensei has successfully referred to me by name--usually he points, and when I'm mentioned by name even as I'm standing out he usually asks, "Who?"--but in this case, he was explaining how issoku-itto-no-maai is a personal and relational interval--case in point, for someone like BeHundt, who is very tall, he can fit from far away, almost here (nearly to-ma)--if he hits from issoku, he may end up too close, and he does not need to take such a big step. Hu, however, is small. Therefore he must start from closer. Another trick is to slightly bring up the left foot before striking. This way you will not show your opponent that you are moving in, because your hakama hides your leftfootwork.

It's nice to be noticed.